So now what? I need some advice please. Having a tough time. Thank you.?

I realize he hurt you and I'm sorry that you had to go thru all of that but he sounds like a total d0uche! Why do you even care how his life is going? He's the one that basically pushed you to end your own life and your sad again because he knocked up some chick?! Its time for a reality check woman!!! He probably did even want the baby and its hard to imagine a jerk like that being happy for too long. Your best option would be to find a job, make new friends, keep going to counseling and just live you're life without thinking about him... He's not worth it! You're 30 yrs old. Its time to grow up and take responsibility for yourself and your emotions. No one is ever gonna make you feel better, you have to make yourself better on your own and learn to love yourself before someone else can love you.